Feeding Your Emotional Piggy Bank (With Printable PDF Worksheet)
 | Today was a rough day for me in therapy. You see, I am carrying around some baggage from my recent trip to Vermont - and I'm finding it pretty hard to unpack. Today's lesson was all about not draining my emotional bank account. The idea was new to me, but after a few minutes of my therapist explaining it I found that it just "clicked". We all have emotional bank accounts, and if we neglect them we can find ourselves overdrawn and burned out. |
The way it works is actually pretty simple. We are going to start with a zero balance in our account. Each time we encounter a negative aspect, we are going to debit our account. When we do something that has a positive impact on us we are going to deposit into the account. The goal is to at a minimum break even and even better, to have a surplus in our account. Here is an example:Â
It is totally up to you how much you assign each item. For me personally I picture it as a gas tank that holds 100 gallons. How much does each thing drain my tank or refill it? As you can see in the example above an argument with my husband is pretty emotionally draining - over 1/4 of a tank!Â
The idea of an emotional bank account was made popular by Stephen Covey (who is responsible for some kick ass organizational systems) in his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". He describes it as a relationship, with amounts of give and take at any given time. This account is impacted by the people we encounter every single day.Â
The beauty of this system is that it doesn't matter if you are a custodian or a CEO - everyone starts on a level playing field. And the simplest things can really have an impact. Let's say you did an awesome job on a project at work, and the boss stops at your desk to thank you - that's a deposit. Maybe you offer a ride to a friend because it's "on the way". That's another deposit. Stuck in traffic on the way home and flip off the guy who cuts you off? That's a withdrawal.Â
But that's OK. I mean after all, we are human beings. We are gonna screw up from time to time. It isn't about dwelling on those mistakes, but on how we offset them with the positive. It is about cutting ties with the people and things that drain our account faster then we can replenish it.Â
The idea of an emotional bank account was made popular by Stephen Covey (who is responsible for some kick ass organizational systems) in his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". He describes it as a relationship, with amounts of give and take at any given time. This account is impacted by the people we encounter every single day.Â
The beauty of this system is that it doesn't matter if you are a custodian or a CEO - everyone starts on a level playing field. And the simplest things can really have an impact. Let's say you did an awesome job on a project at work, and the boss stops at your desk to thank you - that's a deposit. Maybe you offer a ride to a friend because it's "on the way". That's another deposit. Stuck in traffic on the way home and flip off the guy who cuts you off? That's a withdrawal.Â
But that's OK. I mean after all, we are human beings. We are gonna screw up from time to time. It isn't about dwelling on those mistakes, but on how we offset them with the positive. It is about cutting ties with the people and things that drain our account faster then we can replenish it.Â
 | I have created a printable PDF for you to practice balancing your emotional bank account. It includes a blank check register, some blank checks for practice and a list of some things that count as withdrawals or deposits. These are not all-inclusive lists - by all means feel free to make them your own! This is also a great lesson for your children. It teaches them to be mindful of how they treat others, and how they treat themselves. It teaches them to be selfless instead of selfish. What a great lesson! Here are some ideas to get you started:Â |
There is a movie that touches on the idea of an emotional bank account. It is called "Pay It Forward" and was released in 2001. It starred Haley Joel Osmet and Kevin Spacey. It' the story of a social studies teacher who gives an assignment to his junior high school class to think of an idea to change the world for the better, then put it into action. When one young student creates a plan for "paying forward" favors, he not only affects the life of his struggling single mother, but he sets in motion an unprecedented wave of human kindness which, unbeknownst to him, has blossomed into a profound national phenomenon.  You can rent it for under $3 as of today 6/29/2017.
What are some ways that you can think of to add to an emotional bank account? Is your account pretty balanced, or do you have some work to do? Let me know in the comments below.
What are some ways that you can think of to add to an emotional bank account? Is your account pretty balanced, or do you have some work to do? Let me know in the comments below.